The best nickname ever

I knew this guy who was always fishing for reassurances and compliments. One of the things that he use to seek reassurances for was the size of his manhood. I dated him for a while, and while I hadn't thought he was inadequate, he certainly wasn't - um, overwhelming. I never said anything about it, because 1. I didn't care 2. because I didn't think it was anyone's business.

Apparently, though, other women he dated didn't think so. Issues concerning his size became a topic of discussion on two separate occasions. Once to me, and once to her sister, at least that I know of. I didn't say anything about it for a while though. I never mentioned it to anyone. That is until her sister and I went drinking, and she let it slip about her sister's complaint about the size of his penis, and since I had dated him too, she asked if it was true. I laughed and laughed and laughed. At this point I was annoyed with him, and I have no sense of loyalty to him whatsoever, but I never brought it up. I just never said anything, when I figured out that his current girlfriend was a paranoid psycho. Too bad her sister is my closest friend. Hence, the reason I never said anything except to bitch about my own issues. So, after I got over my hysterical laughing fit, I calmed down and explained to her that if her sister was really that into him, then she woulda just kept her mouth shut. She took that as confirmation, and we laughed even harder.

As the behavior and false intimacy of the paranoid psycho and the fisher started getting more and more annoying and bizarre, we just let our guard down and let our sarcasm take over... and boy did we come up some great nicknames. The best of which was STD (Stupid Tiny Dick). It was our way of venting and expressing how betrayed we both felt by someone so inconsequential. The best part about it, though, is that the nickname is totally appropriate and accurate.

It's a good thing that we don't see him, and I no longer see her. Otherwise I'd forget to call him by his proper name, and just keep referring to him as STD. At the very least, however, I suppose he can consider his fishing quest complete... he's penis is small, it's not even average, and yeah...I lied, I did fake it, almost every time.