I consider myself a pretty tolerant person. So long as you appear sincere and logical, and you have no intentions of hurting yourself or anyone else, then I'm pretty much okay with how most people live their lives. People who lie to themselves are the most intolerable people. People who can never admit that they are wrong or inflexible with their thinking, narrow, close-minded... they are the ones that I mostly take issue with me.

I was reading a book, and I came across something that really broke down how I felt about a recently falling out I had. A very significant falling-out...

The conversation takes place after an argument between old friends, where one attacks the moral character of the other. Basically, the friend is judgmental and critical about the way the main character is living her life. Another friend sees the encounter and as an unbiased third party makes a pretty accurate assessment about the situation...

"She's a whore, that one," Pam said.
I pulled out a Kleenex out of my purse to blot my tears. I often cried when I got angry; I hated that. Crying just made you look weak, no matter what triggered it....
"I wouldn't call her a whore, but she's truly not careful as she might be about who she goes with," I admitted.
"Why do you defend her?"
"Habit," I said. "We were friends for years and years."
"What did she do for you with her friendship? What benefit was there?"
"She..." I had to stop and think. "I guess I was just able to say I had a friend. I cared about her kids, and I helped her out with them. When she couldn't work, I'd take her hours, and if she worked for , I'd clean her trailer in return. She come see me if I was sick and bring me food. Most of all, she was tolerant of my differences."
"She used you, and yet you feel grateful, " Pam said. Her expressionless white face game me no clue to her feelings.
"Listen, Pam, it wasn't like that."
"How was it, Sookie?"
"She really did like me. We really did have some good times."
"She's lazy. That extends to her friendships. If it's easy to be friendly, she will be. If the wind blows another way, her friendship will be gone. And I'm thinking the wind is blowing the other way. She has found some other way to be an important person in her own right, by hating you." - from All Together Dead by Charlaine Harris.

That pretty much sums up how he is. He uses people, and then he finds someone else to use until they are completely useless to him, and then he moves on. Never really giving back what he takes, and never really understanding respect and loyalty to others. He can never be a part of anything, because he never really belongs anywhere. There are no good qualities about him, because he has to constantly remind himself of his manners and consideration of others. Good people, don't even have to try. It just comes naturally. He is the kind of person to kick you when you are down, and throw things in your face because he doesn't know how to articulate his feelings. I mean, I've actually seen him throw a tantrum. It's an amazing thing to watch a grown man throw a tantrum. He's like a lost 5 year old trapped in a 35 year old man. It's sad and it's pathetic.

I'm glad to accept the fact that he just doesn't belong in my life, and I am sorry to have extended my generosity and love in vain. I can't even say I wish him well, because even that would be a wasted wish...